Football Recipes

A Good Team Stew

Take a season of skill
Ten balls of speed
A pinch of good sportsmanship
And a large sack of determination.

Chris Elsdon, Phil Unwin and John Elkins

Good Fan Pie

First use a bobble-hat turned upside down as your mixing bowl
Then add some luck and dice it up.
Take a big mouth and throw it in.
Boil a replica shirt and slice it up.
Take one scarf and chop it into small bits.
Add lots of spirit.

Thomas Hardy

Fan Flan

Take a hat and a scarf
Dice a big mouth
Mix in some chewing gum,
Add a good strip from the club shop
Sprinkle some lucozade
Then cook for three seasons.

Gareth Gilchrist

Fan Pudding

First find a red and white bowl
Then add a scarf and stir till it cheers
After that add a bobble-hat and chop
Sprinkle on the scarf
Take a season ticket,
Mush it until it turns red.
Then stir in some loyalty.

Sam Ellis

Chairman Soup

Take a stadium,
Put in some football strips
Sprinkle some chewing gum
Add some luck
Put in oven for half a season
Throw in some stress balls
Mix in your brains.

Dave Simpson and Chris Callaghan

Manager Turnover

Take one generous chairman
Slice up a good brain
Chop into small pieces and place in bowl
Stir chewing gum until it is liquid
Pour on manager.
Boil a good talker
Grill a good eye
Put in some patience
Add a little bit of skill
Grill a relationship with the players
Cook for years
Until hair turns grey.

Andrew Dodsworth and Andrew Gallimore