Football Stories

The Mystery of the Kidnapped Striker

It was 2-0 to Liverpool. Michael Owen put another past the United keeper to make it 3-0 just as the whistle went for full-time. Owen was the first down the tunnel and into the changing rooms. In the shower there were five men waiting for him. They hit Owen and put him in the air vent. The men climbed up the vent, onto the roof and out of the ground. One week later Gerard Houllier got a letter. It said, ‘£1 million for Owen.’ Houlier ran to the police. The next week another letter came. It said, ‘£1 million or Owen dies.’

‘What are we going to do ?’ asked Houllier.
‘We can trace the ransom note,’ said the policeman.
‘OK,’ said Houllier. ‘Do it now.’

At the kidnappers’ hideout the kidnapers tore off their masks. It was Cole, Beckham, Schmeichel, Neville and Keane. Just then the police ran in. The United players went to gaol.

Andrew Dodsworth

The Curse of the Dressing Room

Before a match between Middlesbrough and Sunderland, Gazza was trying to get his football shorts off a high peg. Suddenly he was pushed off the bench by something. Something peculiar. Middlesbrough lost the match 3-2 and Gazza never played again.

A few weeks later, Middlesbrough were playing Manchester United. Mark Schwarzer was putting on his goalie top when his leg was pulled from behind. He slipped and broke his leg. Middlesbrough lost the match 9-1. After the match Hamilton Ricard said, ‘ there is something wrong, definitely wrong.’

He was right. It was a ghost, the ghost of a Newcastle fan come back to haunt the Boro.

Andrew Gallimore

A Ball’s Life

Hi, I’m Billy the Ball. I was made for the World Cup in 1966. I have played with all the best footballers, eg Ball, Peters, Wilson, Moore, Hurst and both the Charlton brothers. I have even been kicked into a river. Lucky for me a little boy fished me out and took me back. Did I tell you that I was in the back of the net eight times in one game ? The worst game was a match between Middlesbrough and West Ham. It was half-time and Middlesbrough were winning 2-0. A restless West Ham supporter threw a petrol bomb onto the pitch and I blew up in flames.

Now I live in a cabinet at Wembley.

Sam Ellis


One Saturday afternoon my friends and I went to see Rangers play at Ibrox. It was the Old Firm match, against the Auld Enemy, Celtic. The game was brilliant. We won 2-0. Marco Negri scored both goals. The Celtic supporters were not happy. After the match we were walking home. It was getting dark and cold. Suddenly we realised we were lost. We turned round to go back. Then we saw them. A gang of Celtic supporters. They were coming towards us. We were in big trouble…

We started to run but they ran after us. We jumped over a wall. We thought we had lost them. Then they came round the corner. We ran through the middle of them but they stopped us. We started fighting. We managed to get away but we were hurt. We ran back to the stadium and they were behind us all the way. When they saw the other Rangers fans they ran off. And they never started on us again.

Dave Simpson

The Haunted Goal

Man Utd were playing Liverpool. The players were nervous. They were ready for action. The teams came out. The crowd roared. Liverpool were in control of the game. After only a few minutes Michael Owen scored with his head. United tried to get back into the game, but it was no good. They just couldn’t score. By half-time United were very tired, it didn’t look like they were ever going to equalise.

While they were sitting in the changing-rooms they had a strange feeling that everything was going to be all right. It was as though someone or something was talking to them, giving them ideas and encouragement.

In the second half it was the same. United couldn’t score but they kept on trying. Then in he 90th minute Dwight Yorke smacked the ball into the back of the Liverpool net. Two minutes later it happened again. No-one knew how it happened. But the ball somehow went into the goal. It was very mysterious.

Afterwards, when they were celebrating in the shower, the United players heard someone laugh in the changing rooms. It was the ghosts of the Busby Babes, Duncan Edwards and Matt Busby…

Gareth Gilchrist

Match of the Day

One Saturday night I was watching Match of the Day. It was very late and I was tired. I must have fallen asleep for a few minutes. When I woke up I realised something strange had happened. Something very strange. I was in the programme ! I was on the pitch ! I was playing for Boro’ ! And I was still in my pyjamas !

I suddenly felt the ball at my feet. I looked up. Ricard was shouting at me. I started to run as fast as I could but it was really hard because I was still wearing my big fluffy teddy slippers. I saw Ricard going on a run, so I passed the ball to him. I nearly fell over but Beck got the ball. He shot and placed it in the top corner. It was Boro’ 1, Chelsea O. The next thing I knew was Flo just about to score. He belted it into the net. 1-1. Gordon passed the ball to me. I started to run. I chipped it over a Chelsea player to Pallister. He slipped it through the defence back to me. I took control of the ball. I shot. It went between the keeper’s legs. 2-1 to Boro’ the final score. What a great game !

Phil Unwin