One day, when I was just a dog of three I was walking around when I smelt something. It smelled like a steak and it made my mouth water. So I ran off towards the smell. But on my way something shiny caught my eye. It was like it was hypnotising me. It kind of dragged me over. It was covered in rubbish. I dragged it over to my owner. He polished it, but he would not give me it back.

This made me furious. I started snapping at him. But he still would not give it back. It was like he had turned to stone or something. Finally he came to and we went to this wierd looking building where everybody was dressed in blue. They looked so happy to see my shiny chewy. They gave him lots of little shiny things. They would not be good chew toys. I was so angry that I bit him. The next day they made me wear this stupid outfit and run around on this fluffy stuff. The only good thing about it was that I got as much food as I could eat for life.

And that is how I became famous kids, and how I got so fat….

John Elkins