The Zany Zoo
We’ve got some vegetarian piranhas
Who only eat bananas
We’ve got some big black bats
Who love chasing cats
We’ve got a hairy chimpanzee
Who likes a cup of tea
We’ve got an orange flamingo
Who likes playing Bingo
We’ve got a gorilla
Who has a pet chinchilla
We’ve got a monkey
Whose dancing is quite funky
We’ve got a pig
Who really likes to dig
We’ve got some rabbits
Who have some dirty habits
We’ve got a snake
Who lives on Christmas cake
We’ve got a bat
Who’s incredibly fat
We’ve got some arctic puffins
Who like eating muffins
We’ve got a grizzly bear
Who hasn’t any hair
We’ve got a hyena
Who likes drinking toilet cleaner
We’ve got a Canadian moose
Who thinks he’s a goose
We’ve got a caribou
Who hasn’t got a clue
We’ve got some killer whales
Who don’t like eating snails
We’ve got a pink dolphin
Who likes going golfin’
We’ve got a zebra
Whose middle name is Deborah
We’ve got a chameleon
Who thinks she’s a comedian
We’ve got a rat
Who likes to wear a hat
We’ve got a polar bear
Who’s lost his underwear
We’ve got a lizard
Who thinks he is a wizard
We’ve got a sparrow
Who shoots a bow and arrow
We’ve got a komodo
Who hangs out with a dodo
We’ve got a gull
Who comes from Hull
We’ve got a thrush
Who lives in a bush
We’ve got a old barn-owl
Whose breath is foul
We’ve got a lynx
Who looks like a sphynx
We’ve got a shark
Who sings like a lark
We’ve got a fox
Who cannot find his socks
We’ve got a kangaroo
Who really needs the loo
We’ve got a great white whale
Who cannot find his tail
We’ve got a tawny owl
That wears its hair in a towel
We’ve got a toothless shark
That swims in the park
We’ve got an African lion
Who’s afraid of dyin’
We’ve got a six-legged spider
That likes drinking cider
We’ve got a deer
Who likes drinking beer
We’ve got a vicious anaconda
Who likes to eat girls called Rhondda
We’ve got a trendy wombat
Who’s always wearing combat
We’ve got a very speedy hare
Who likes to run around bare
We’ve got a fluffy beaver
Who thinks he’s a golden retriever
We’ve got a big fat hog
Who likes to walk his frog
We’ve got a large, hairy ape,
Who likes to wear a cape
We’ve got a little red hen
Who can write with pen
We’ve got a tortoise
Who is very thoughtless
We’ve got a pair of seals
Who eat banana peels,
We’ve got a load of eels
Who like to wear high-heels
We’ve got a very old pheasant
Who can be quite unpleasant
We’ve got a grumpy crocodile
Who has a creepy smile.
So don’t come to the zoo
Or we’re going to eat YOU!
Sarah Watson, Kirsty Unsworth, Daliah Lacey, Nicola Corkin, Kerry Casey, Kirsty Moor, Leigh Degnan, Jessica Dixon, Craig Thomas, Gary Watson, Shaun Harvey, Richard Hammond, Kevin Smithson, Stephen Adams, Christopher Atkinson, Christopher Smith, Steven Turnbull, Matthew Simon, Scott Close, Carl Hardy, Tom Devlin, Philip Pollard, Alan Thomas, Ashleigh Gollagher, Scott Revell, Martin Hutchinson, Luke Saysell, Christina Dobrean and Robert Godfrey
The Animal Olympics
Chester Cheetah is in the lane one. In the second is Harriet Hare. In the third is Lyle Lion. And running in the fourth lane is Skippy Kangaroo.
And they’re off! Looks like Chester Cheetah. But Chester Cheetah has played a trick on Harriet Hare. She is caught in a trap. She can’t move! Chester Cheetah is living up to his name! He has an oil can in his mouth. Now Lyle Lion has slipped over. Chester and Skippy are still in the race. Chester has fallen over. He gets straight back up. He still might win. He has! The crowd go mad.
Now Eric Eagle, how do you feel about Chester?
Well, I’m very proud of him. He’s the best in our team.
Thank you, Eric. And now back to the stadium
Shaun Harvey
The Animal World Cup Final
Welcome to the Animal World Cup Final. Your commentator is Andy Adder. Kick off. Cheesy Cheater running down the wing. Crosses it. Harry Hippo. Hippo shoots ! Oooo! He hits the cross-bar. Kick out by Funky Monkey. It goes straight to Leo Lion. Tackled by Pink Panther. Pink panther to Funky Monkey. The Monkey to Red Rhino. Oh No ! Red Rhino has popped the ball ! The referee is calling for a new ball. Fred Frog to Bluffing Baboon. The Baboon shoots – YES !!! It’s in the net. 1-0 to the Animals. Speedy Turtle takes it from the kick off. Straight to Cheesy Cheetah. Cheesy Cheetah burns down the wing. But Leo Lion takes it off him. And that’s the half-time whistle…
Craig Thomas and Rohan Godfrey
The Animal Swimming Race
Welcome to tonight’s 200 metre free-style race between Paul Whale and Tim Shark. Your commentator on the beach is Andy Stone. Tim recently said he was hoping to win a second gold medal here tonight. If Paul wins it will be his first Olympic medal. They are getting ready. And they’re off ! Tim is in the lead. Paul is still in the shallow end. Paul is catching Tim up. Tim is still in the lead. Paul is getting faster. Paul is overtaking Tim. He is in the lead. But what is this? Tim Shark has taken a bite out of Paul ! It’s incredible !
Sarah Watson and Kirsty Unsworth
The Animal Cup Final
The line up for the mammals is elephants, cheetahs, giraffes, lions and polar bears. The reptiles team consists of snakes, crocs, lizards and a komodo dragon. Cheetah kicks off. The giraffe gets the ball. He kicks it down the wing. The giraffe is waiting in the box. Cheetah crosses it. Goal !!
Now the croc has the ball. He turns it towards the goal. He shoots. But it bounces of the elephant’s tummy. The ball goes towards the sake. He bounces. He heads it in ! Goal ! With only five minutes left the cheetah is on a run again. He crosses it. The giraffe has the ball – but there’s the final whistle. The match must now go to penalties.
The reptiles are taking the first penalty. The croc is going first. He scores past the fat elephant. Now it is the polar bear’s turn. He steps up…
Carl Hardy and Gary Watson
Elephants
Elephants, elephants,
Big and gross,
With a trunk and a tail
And a very funny nose.
Elephants, elephants,
Great big feet,
Dry rough skin,
Like plates of meat.
Scott Close